Saturday, March 10, 2007

Mr Puss calls for calm
in local authority Fat Cats row!

Although Mr Puss works in the private sector he is becoming increasingly alarmed at the criticism of local government Fat Cats.

In a rare and exclusive interview with BIGNEWS MARGATE Mr Puss has decided to speak out.

During our interview Mr Puss at first miaowed and then after some provocative questioning he growled his displeasure at public disapproval of council Fat Cats, abruptly leaving the room for the garden. Some minutes later he returned more reserved, and refusing to add to his earlier comments, clearly Mr Puss is a cat under pressure.

We discussed his early career, how as a young cat, he had been forced onto the streets, a life of crime beckoned until the day he broke into Flaig Mansions.

The owner took pity, Mr Puss was offered the position of Cat, in the Flaig household, however, in those early days not everything went smoothly, keen to show his all-round ability he decided to add the finishing touches to a spreadsheet on the computer, unfortunately his keyboard skills were not up to the task, a birth defect had left him with four paws, a lot of fur and no brains.

Mr Puss had learned his lesson, after this he concentrated on traditional skills, sleeping, killing things, and his own speciality torturing bumble bees.

Things now run smoothly, there have been occasional setbacks, like the time the vet removed his testicles (Ouch!) and that scandal when a family of 15 mice or more, moved in.

Overall life has been good to Mr Puss, now in semi-retirement he can reflect on how he earned his position as a 'Fat Cat'.

Sometimes he ruminates on what life would have been, as a Public Sector Fat Cat, but never having courted publicity, preferring Tuna fish to Smoked Salmon, not relishing the idea of the public baying for his blood (along with the dog next door). In common with Edith Piaf ( " Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien") he has no regrets.


  1. Thanks for the cat-alogue. We can't get enough of Mr Puss. Mr Puss for PM!

    PS: Does he like a bit of chicken every now and then?

  2. You dont say how much Mr Puss is trousering

  3. I am a sucker for nice pictures of cats and your Mr Puss seems a very fine chap! And he writes very amusingly too.

  4. Mr Puss is by preference a fishotarian, as yet he has no wish to enter politics

    Mr Puss as mentioned, works in the private sector therefore feels under no obligation to reveal his income

    Graeme When he next wakes I shall inform him of your commments.